What if?
Crowley took the baby from Ligur and Hastur. He put the child in the backseat of his Bentley and started to drive. He didn't want the world to end. He liked it. He liked the clothes and the concerts. Aziraphale loved the food and Crowley really did enjoy watching Aziraphale enjoy the food. There were so many things that were worth saving.
He got his instructions and nearly crashed his car in the process. He was to take the child to the convent of the Chattering Order of Saint Beryl and they would make the switch. Drop the baby off and leave. Seemed simple enough, right? He could handle that. Couldn't he? But there would only be eleven years until the end of the world. Eleven years. That was nothing compared to the six millennia that came before.
Crowley stopped the car as he got to the place that he was supposed to turn off. A simple right turn and then down the road and then drop off the baby. Do what he was told to do. It was what a good demon did. Helping to bring about the end of the world was just part of his job. And he wouldn't be in that situation if he hadn't lied on the reports back to the head office. He just sat there in the road, fingers drumming on the steering wheel while he thought about what he was going to do. And then he made a decision. Crowley took a deep breath and started to drive straight ahead.
"We are most definitely closed." Aziraphale said as he answered the phone.
"Aziraphale, it's me. We need to talk." Crowley said.
"Yes. I believe we do. This is about?" Aziraphale cleared his throat.
"Armageddon. Yes. Meet me in the usual place." Crowley then hung up the phone. He went to the car and miracled up a bottle of formula. He sat in the back seat of his car feeding the baby and trying to figure out what he was going to do until it was time to meet Aziraphale.
"You kept the baby!?" Aziraphale was completely incredulous. "What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that I don't actually want the world to end." Crowley said, rolling his eyes. If he didn't switch the baby for the child of the American ambassador maybe they could stop the world from ending. Just mayne.
"Well, that's very clear. But Crowley, if they find out what you've done they will absolutely destroy you." Aziraphale looked into the basket and smiled at the baby. He really was adorable.
"They won't find out. I'm the one that's supposed to keep track of him. All I have to do is tell them everything is fine. They never check." Crowley looked around at the people walking past them. None of them were actually paying attention but he felt like he was being watched.
"Which is how you got yourself into this situation in the first place." Aziraphale said rather smugly. "You can't be considering raising this child yourself, can you?"
"And why not?" Crowley raised an eyebrow.
"I've seen how you treat your plants." Aziraphale shook his head. Crowley glared at him for a moment.
"Children are not plants, Aziraphale. You know how I feel about kids." He'd actually gone against Hell on more than one occasion in the name of saving children. Aziraphale's expression softened a bit and he nodded.
"You're right. Of course you can handle this. Just perhaps....not entirely on your own?"
"Are you wanting to help me raise the Antichrist, angel?" Crowley asked with a smirk.
"Perhaps. I could be his uncle. Or something along those lines." Aziraphale reached into the basket and gently stroked the baby's cheek with his finger.
"Yes. Something like that." Crowley chuckled. This would all be totally fine. Crowley could definitely raise a child with only minimal help from Aziraphale. Couldn't he?
He got his instructions and nearly crashed his car in the process. He was to take the child to the convent of the Chattering Order of Saint Beryl and they would make the switch. Drop the baby off and leave. Seemed simple enough, right? He could handle that. Couldn't he? But there would only be eleven years until the end of the world. Eleven years. That was nothing compared to the six millennia that came before.
Crowley stopped the car as he got to the place that he was supposed to turn off. A simple right turn and then down the road and then drop off the baby. Do what he was told to do. It was what a good demon did. Helping to bring about the end of the world was just part of his job. And he wouldn't be in that situation if he hadn't lied on the reports back to the head office. He just sat there in the road, fingers drumming on the steering wheel while he thought about what he was going to do. And then he made a decision. Crowley took a deep breath and started to drive straight ahead.
"We are most definitely closed." Aziraphale said as he answered the phone.
"Aziraphale, it's me. We need to talk." Crowley said.
"Yes. I believe we do. This is about?" Aziraphale cleared his throat.
"Armageddon. Yes. Meet me in the usual place." Crowley then hung up the phone. He went to the car and miracled up a bottle of formula. He sat in the back seat of his car feeding the baby and trying to figure out what he was going to do until it was time to meet Aziraphale.
"You kept the baby!?" Aziraphale was completely incredulous. "What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that I don't actually want the world to end." Crowley said, rolling his eyes. If he didn't switch the baby for the child of the American ambassador maybe they could stop the world from ending. Just mayne.
"Well, that's very clear. But Crowley, if they find out what you've done they will absolutely destroy you." Aziraphale looked into the basket and smiled at the baby. He really was adorable.
"They won't find out. I'm the one that's supposed to keep track of him. All I have to do is tell them everything is fine. They never check." Crowley looked around at the people walking past them. None of them were actually paying attention but he felt like he was being watched.
"Which is how you got yourself into this situation in the first place." Aziraphale said rather smugly. "You can't be considering raising this child yourself, can you?"
"And why not?" Crowley raised an eyebrow.
"I've seen how you treat your plants." Aziraphale shook his head. Crowley glared at him for a moment.
"Children are not plants, Aziraphale. You know how I feel about kids." He'd actually gone against Hell on more than one occasion in the name of saving children. Aziraphale's expression softened a bit and he nodded.
"You're right. Of course you can handle this. Just perhaps....not entirely on your own?"
"Are you wanting to help me raise the Antichrist, angel?" Crowley asked with a smirk.
"Perhaps. I could be his uncle. Or something along those lines." Aziraphale reached into the basket and gently stroked the baby's cheek with his finger.
"Yes. Something like that." Crowley chuckled. This would all be totally fine. Crowley could definitely raise a child with only minimal help from Aziraphale. Couldn't he?
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