Stuck

Crowley wasn't exactly sure what was going on but he knew he didn't feel good.  As a demon he couldn't get sick, but something just felt off.  Like there was a blown fuse or something.  He couldn't quite explain it.  He just assumed that it had something to do with the fact that he hadn't actually slept in nearly a month and decided that a good nap was in order.  Of course, he took the best naps when he was a snake.  He could just curl up in a little ball under the bed and everyone would leave him alone.  It was great.  He made sure that Aziraphale was aware that he was going to be sleeping for a while and then shifted to his snake form and went to sleep.

It was nearly six weeks later when Crowley started to stir from his nap.  He wasn't sure why he was waking up.  He had been able to sleep for a full century before, only waking the one time.  He was definitely a little confused.  What confused him more was waking up somewhere other than under his bed in his flat.  Had Aziraphale come and moved him for some reason?  He wouldn't put it past the angel.  It wasn't until he heard the ear shattering scream of a tiny human that he actually opened his eyes to see what was going on around him.  Had he been able to do so, he would have let out a streak of swear words that made a sailor blush.

A bloody zoo?  He lifted his head and scanned his surroundings.  There were a lot of humans milling about in a relatively dark room on the other side of a very large piece of glass.  Fortunately for him, he was able to at least hear the people on the other side and understand what they were saying.

"Oh, this is a red-bellied black snake.  It's from Australia."  A woman said to the uninterested child next to her.

Bloody well am not from Australia, bitch.   Crowley thought as he looked at her, moving his head a little closer to the glass.  He did everything he could to be absolutely terrifying but it didn't work.  The problem with humans was they were never scared when they thought they were very safe.  He flicked his tongue and then curled back up in a ball.  He decided to ignore the humans.  Once the zoo was closed for the night he could shift into his body and then get the hell out of there.  And find out exactly how he'd ended up there in the first place.


It seemed like an absolute eternity before the zoo finally closed and the lights went off.  He knew there would be security guards around but it was easy enough for him to get past them without being seen.  He just had to get out of the cage first.  Usually it only took a thought for him to shift from snake to his humanoid form, but this time nothing was happening.  It felt like something was broken and he couldn't fix it.  He took a deep breath and would have sighed if it were possible.  Something was wrong and he was stuck being a snake.  He needed to get in touch with Aziraphale, but he wasn't quite sure how to do that.  He would have to bide his time until he could figure it out. 


Crowley had been trying to find every way possible to let Aziraphale know what was going on.  He still hadn't managed to get out of his snake form.  He wasn't even sure how to fix what had been wrong.  He was tired of having to get rid of the various animals that they put in his cage for him to eat.  He knew if he didn't at least appear to eat they would think something was wrong with him and that would result in medical examinations that he wasn't willing to deal with.  Time seemed to creep by very slowly in the little cage in the zoo.  It had been almost six months since he'd woken up there and he was starting to think he'd be stuck for all eternity.

His day was made exceedingly brighter, though, when on one particular Wednesday afternoon a group of what the humans called tweens came into the zoo on what appeared to be a school field trip.  Normally he would have just gone into ignore mode, curling up under the heat lamp and letting them look at him.  This time it was different.  He recognized four of the faces that were heading his way.  Adam and the Them had come to the zoo with their class.  Fantastic.  He knew that he could at least talk to Adam.  Even if the boy wasn't the Antichrist anymore, his mind was definitely receptive.

"Actually, that's not a red-bellied black snake from Australia."  The nerdy one with the glasses had said.  "It looks completely different.  They just didn't bother to do their research."

"Shut it."  The girl had said.  She really didn't seem to care about the whole thing.

He's right, you know?  Crowley said into Adam's mind.  Adam just stared at the snake for a moment before looking around at his friends.

"Did you hear that?"  Adam asked, his three friends shaking their head.

Adam, it's me.  Crowley.  Do you remember me?  

"Crowley...." Adam said softly.

"What about him?"  Pepper asked.  She remembered the flashy man all in black that had helped them with the bad people after originally trying to kill Adam.  It had all seemed like a nightmare.

"I think.....he's the snake."  Adam pointed at the glass.

I am. Crowley said into his mind again.  I need you to contact Aziraphale.  In his bookshop.  I'm not sssssupposed to be here.  I'm sssstuck.  

Adam nodded and then looked at his friends.  "Do you remember the blonde one?  He had been in that one lady but then I split them apart?"   His three friends nodded.  "We need to call him as soon as we can."   Crowley relaxed for probably the first time since he woke up in the zoo.  He sent an imagine of Aziraphale's shop into Adam's head and then curled back up into his ball.  He had no idea how long it would be before Aziraphale got there to rescue him.


It had actually taken Adam three full days to convince his father to take him into London to visit the very old book shop owned by A.Z. Fell.  It helped that his mother's birthday was coming up and he just knew that he could get something absolutely wonderful that she would completely love in that specific bookshop.  And that his mum wouldn't expect anything near as nice in the future for at least a few years.  That was the final selling point that got his dad to agree.

They took the train into London on Saturday morning and Adam managed to get his dad to agree to just lounge at a nearby cafe drinking coffee and watching one game or another on the tele while Adam went to conduct his business at the shop.  Boring old bookshops were not Arthur Young's scene, after all.

"Adam!  How are you doing?  It's rather a surprise to see you."  Aziraphale said as he came from his office at hearing the bell ding above the door.  He'd been planning on trying to get rid of the would be customer but this was completely different.

"I'm doing okay."  He nodded.  He didn't hesitate to give the angel a hug, a gesture that was happily returned.

"So, Adam, what brings you to my shop today?"  Aziraphale would most definitely let the young man have whatever it was he desired.

"Well, you see, my mates and I went on a school trip to the zoo the other day and we saw this real interesting reptile display."  He started.  Aziraphale nodded and moved over to one of the bookshelves.

"Looking for books on reptiles then?  I have just the thing."  He smiled.

"Not quite.  You see....there was this one display.  Had a really big black and red snake.  Said it was a red-belled black snake but Wensleydale pointed out that that's not what it was at all.  It was a great big thing.  With these yellow eyes."  He stopped as he watched Aziraphale.  It took the angel a moment to figure out what he was saying.  Aziraphale turned quickly.

"You don't mean....."  He asked.  Aziraphale gasped when Adam nodded.

"He told me to come get you.  That you would know what to do.  Said that he was stuck."  He wasn't sure what that meant exactly.  Aziraphale did, though.  Crowley would have been out of the zoo in two seconds if he'd been able to shift, but something was stopping him.

"And which zoo was this?"  Aziraphale asked as he started making mental notes of everything he would need.  In order to get Crowley out of the zoo he would need something official looking and he would have to do a lot of talking because breaking in and stealing him just wasn't an option.  Adam filled him in on the details of the situation, picked out a book for his mum and then left.  Aziraphale had quite a lot of work to do.

The very first thing Aziraphale did was to figure out why Crowley had been sent to the zoo in the first place.  Apparently there was some work going to be done on Crowley's street and they were going to need to shut the water off for a few days.  Crowley had forgotten to lock his door and the foreman went in under the assumption that the flat was abandoned since he hadn't gotten any kind of an answer.  It was a series of circumstances that never should have occurred in the first place that led to Crowley being discovered under the bed and then captured and sent to the zoo.  He'd been very fortunate that they hadn't just killed him. 

The second thing that Aziraphale did was contact Anathema Device.  He needed someone that could look and act official and actually pull off the confidence necessary to get the job done.  He would have asked for Newton but the young man just wasn't sure enough of himself to pull off this particular caper. 

"What is it you need me to do?"  Anathema asked as she sat across from Aziraphale in his shop. 

"I need you to accompany me to the zoo and help me get Crowley back.  You'll act as some sort of official person.  I haven't figured that out quite yet.  We'll need to get you an identification card as soon as we have that sorted.  And then we're going to go break him out."   Aziraphale sipped his cocoa. 

"Yes, alright.  You'll have to explain to me again how he ended up there in the first place."  She sipped the tea he'd given her as he started to explain.

Between the two of them, they'd managed to come up with a cover of being an official of the AHVLA (Animal Health and Veterinary Laboratories Association).  Hopefully they wouldn't question it too much.  The snake was actually meant to be in one of their labs but an employee absconded with it and now it needed to be returned.  That would be good enough.  They made sure to arrive at the zoo very early in the morning.  Not so early that no one would be there but definitely before the zoo officially opened. 

"Can I help you?"  The security guard asked as Aziraphale and Anathema approached.  Anathema produced the ID that Aziraphale had miracled into being. 

"My name is Dr Smith.  This is my associate Dr. Jones.  We're here about a snake that you've had in your possession."  She only held the ID up long enough for the man to catch the name of the agency and then she put it away. 

"We have a lot of snakes in our possession."  The guard said with a smirk. 

"This is a particularly large red-bellied black snake."  Aziraphale said in his most official tone. 

"Oh yeah.  There's rumors going around that that's not actually what it is."  He picked up the phone in the guard shack, getting ready to call back to the main office. 

"It's not, actually.  It's a very special snake and we need it back."  Anathema commented before Aziraphale could say anything.  The guard called back to the main office and a few minutes later, two very official looking people arrived, a man and a woman.  Neither Anathema or Aziraphale bothered to remember the names they were given.  Anathema once again explained the situation to them, with Aziraphale throwing in some details every now and again.  He produced a file that contained a great deal of information about the health and status of the snake.  The officials took them back into the zoo and to the display where the snake was curled up in a ball once again. 

"That's all he does."  The woman said. 

"Yes, he is a rather lazy thing."  Aziraphale commented with a bit of a smirk. 

It's about bloody time you got here, angel.  Crowley practically growled into Aziraphale's head.  And I am not lazy.  

"Right.  As you can see, everything is in order.  The paperwork and so forth.  This is most definitely our snake and we're going to need him back right away."  Anathema handed over another file that had documents in triplicate that had multiple signatures on them. 

"How can we be sure this is definitely your snake?"  The man looked at them suspisciously. 

"On his belly, about halfway down in amongst the red scales there's a set of four black scales that are roughly diamond shape and look like they don't belong there."  Aziraphale replied. 

I didn't think you'd noticed that, angel. Crowley said in a tone that betrayed the smirk that would be on his face if he weren't a snake.  Aziraphale just cleared his throat. 

"Right, I guess I'll have to go check that."  The woman said, sounding for all the world like she wished she didn't have to.   Crowley had been completely cooperative when the woman came into his cage and tried to uncoil him so she could see the aforementioned scales.   "They're definitely here."  She tried to yell through the glass.  The man nodded. 

"Right.  So this is definitely your snake.  I do apologize for the mixup but maybe next time keep better tabs on your animals."  He gave them both a look and both Aziraphale and Anathema just nodded.  Crowley was moved into a crate and then loaded into a truck that Anathema had rented just in case they needed it.  They pulled away from the zoo with a wave and then a little bit down the road, Anathema pulled over so Aziraphale could get into the back and let Crowley out of the crate. 

"What on earth happened to you?"  Aziraphale asked as he sat on the floor, getting jostled a little bit by the not completely smooth ride of the truck. 

I don't know.  I jussst know that I can't change back.  I'm ssstuck.   Crowley slithered out of the cage and made his way over to Aziraphale.  He wrapped himself around the angel but managed to be in a position to have his head in Aziraphale's lap.   Don't feel right.  He added. 

"What do you mean?"  Aziraphale asked as he started to gently smooth the scales on the top of Crowley's head.  It hadn't been the first time they'd snuggled in this form.  Crowley seemed to like it quite a lot. 

Feel.....broken sssssomehow.  Crowley answered. 

"Oh you poor dear."  Aziraphale leaned down and kissed the top of Crowley's head.  "I'm so sorry, darling.  Would you like me to see if I can fix it?"  He wasn't sure that he could.  Crowley wrapped around Aziraphale just a little bit tighter. 

Not yet  He replied.  He just wanted to be held for a bit.  It had taken a bit of maneuvering to get Crowley into Aziraphale's bookshop without raising too much suspicion.  Anathema had helped with that.  Aziraphale told her that she could take any book she wanted before she left, but she decided to leave empty handed. 

He took Crowley up to the flat above the shop and tried to put him on the couch.  Crowley just shifted in a way that caused Aziraphale to fall onto the couch, leaving himself firmly wrapped around the angel. 

"Crowley, I have things to take care of...."  He started. 

No, you don't.  Not right now.  Crowley lifted his head so that he was looking Aziraphale in the eye.  There was something there that wouldn't tolerate any argument in the matter.  Aziraphale also noticed something else.  Was that sadness?  He decided to ignore that thought.  Couldn't be, could it?  Aziraphale sighed heavily when he noticed Crowley lower his head into his lap again and he could tell that the snake demon was now very sound asleep. 

"You're quite right.  I certainly have nothing else to do at the moment."  He stroked Crowley's scales for a little while before drifting off to sleep himself. 


It was the loud thud that woke Aziraphale and made him realize that he was no longer completely wrapped up in a large, black and red snake.  The loud thud of something very large and heavy hitting the floor.  He wondered if Crowley was going to slither off somewhere else.  He stretched a bit before opening his eyes and rubbing them. 

"Hello, angel."  Crowley said with a grin.  Aziraphale's eyes shot open and he realized that the loud thud was the sound of Crowley falling off the couch after shifting from being a snake.  Aziraphale had assumed that the demon would be very annoyed about the whole situation but he actually seemed happy. 

"So you managed to fix whatever the problem was?" Aziraphale tilted his head as he got to his feet. 

"I can't take credit for this one.  Getting me back into my body was all you."  Crowley said with a grin as he moved a little closer to Aziraphale. 

"I...but I didn't....um....what?"   Aziraphale wasn't entirely sure what Crowley meant.  Of course he was making that confused face that Crowley found absolutely adorable. 

"Turns out, my dear, the only thing I needed to fix what was broken was a bit of angel snuggling."  He smirked and leaned in to kiss Aziraphale's cheek.  The cheek immediately turned bright red. 

"Oh."  Aziraphale cleared his throat and looked down for a moment.  "I....well.....you're welcome?"  He smiled up at Crowley. 

"Yes, thank you." Crowley said with a nod.  "Just need to make sure that it's a recurring thing so this doesn't happen again." 

"I believe I can handle that."  Aziraphale nodded once again.  Yes, he could most definitely handle regular Crowley cuddling. 

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