Discorporated Part 9

"Azrael!" Aziraphale called.  He wasn't even sure if that was going to work.  At least he knew that, as the angel of death, Azrael would be able to hear him.  It was just a matter of whether or not she would actually respond to him.  He hadn't tried to contact the angel since his discorporation. 

"Azrael!"  He'd been yelling the angel's name for what seemed like hours.  Everything was going on in the library around him but no one even knew he was there.  A few people had even walked through him. 

"What?"  Azrael finally appeared looking very annoyed. 

"I wasn't sure you'd actually answer me."  Aziraphale would have blushed if angels had the ability to do so. 

"I'm only here because it got you to finally stop yelling.  What do you want?"  Azrael crossed her arms and just stared at him.  They were both standing in the library, though now it seemed that everything had gone dark around them. 

"I need to ask you a question."  Aziraphale cleared his throat. 

"Oh goody.  I was hoping you weren't just yelling my name for no reason."  Azrael rolled her eyes. 

"Yes, well."  Aziraphale continued, not picking up on the sarcasm.  "I found a way that I can be recorporated but it is going to require your assistance." 

"Excuse me?"  Azrael raised an eyebrow.  "I thought you were perfectly okay with being a ghost.  You've been practicing with your ghostly abilities, haven't you?  Is that not enough?" 

"I have been practicing quite a lot, actually.  And I've even managed to get to where he can touch me...."  Aziraphale explained.  "But I'm afraid it really isn't enough." 

"Why not?"  Azrael was getting more irritated by the second. 

"Because the times that we can touch are very brief.  I hate this longing I have, and I hate how miserable he is all of the time."  Aziraphale picked at his fingers. 

"And you want to be corporeal rather than just fading away and letting him get over you."  Azrael said rather than asked. 

"Well, when you put it that way...."  Aziraphale started. 

"It sounds a bit selfish?"  Azrael suggested with a little bit of a smirk. 

"Well, yes actually."  Aziraphale sighed. 

"Is this what Crowley wants?"  Azrael had been paying attention to the two of them over the years.  She had a pretty good idea of what the answer was. 

"I....I don't know."  Aziraphale let his hands drop to his sides.  "I need to know if it's even possible before I ask him.  I don't want to give him false hope." 

"Oh okay."  Azrael nodded.  "You want to make sure that it can actually be done before you offer him the opportunity.  That does make sense.  It'd be awful to ask him if he wanted this only to deny it to him."  All of the anger and sarcasm was suddenly gone from Azrael's voice.  "False hope is the worst thing you can give someone." 

"Exactly."  Aziraphale said as he lifted his head to look at the angel.  "So tell me, Azrael.  Is it even possible?  And what would be the conditions?  I know there'll be a price.  Will I be mortal?  There are so many questions." 

"Stop."  Azrael held up her hands to get Aziraphale to stop talking.  "Listen.  It is possible.  And there's a way to do it so that you are immortal, to a degree.  Just like your corporation was immortal until you unceremoniously discorporated."  Azrael made a face. 

"Right.  So it's entirely possible.  But you haven't answered my question about the price."  Aziraphale was very nervous. 

"The price is very simple.  As I said, you're no longer allowed in Heaven.  Ever.  You turned your back on the Heavenly Host.  There's no possible way, should anything happen to you in your new corporation, that you could go anywhere but down."  Azrael kept her arms crossed.  The look she was giving Aziraphale was very serious. 

"Down then."  Aziraphale nodded and started to pick at his fingers again.  He'd have to be very careful.  He knew that Crowley would never forgive himself if anything like that happened.  And he would most definitely blame himself.  "And that's the only price?" 

"That's the only price, but it is a pretty big one."  Azrael smirked a little.  She liked that he seemed to not care where he ended up. 

"Very well.  I think I can handle that."  Aziraphale nodded again. 

"But I'm not going to do it right now."  Azreal uncrossed her arms.  "You have to find out if this is actually what Crowley wants.  He might have resigned himself to never holding you in his arms again.  Might be ready to just move on and leave you a ghost." 

"I am aware of the possibility of that unfortunate reality."  Aziraphale made a face.  "I have someone working on Crowley as we speak to find out what it is that he actually wants.  I'll call on you as soon as I have an answer." 

"Yes.  Of course you will.  Aziraphale, just don't be quite so annoying this time, okay?"  Azrael said and she was gone before Aziraphale could answer.  The darkness in the  library was gone and he was standing alone in the center, no one having any idea what had just taken place. 



Crowley had been gone for a week.  The library was still in good condition when he walked in the front door.  That wasn't surprising at all, really.  He knew that Angeline could be trusted with the place.  He just hadn't been gone for that long before. 

"Honey, I'm home!" Crowley called before chuckling as he made his way over to the desk to see if there were any messages for him. 

"Tony, hon, can you answer a question for me?" 

"Sure thing."  Crowley looked up and smiled at Angeline. 

"Why are your plants constantly terrified?"  Angeline was able to pick up on certain things.  She called them vibes.  Crowley decided a long time ago that it was mild psychic ability that wasn't truly nurtured. 

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about?"  Crowley smirked a little as he said it. 

"Fine, don't tell me."  Angeline shook her head and came over to the desk, pulling Crowley into a hug.  The demon stood there with his arms trapped and acting like he would rather be anywhere else.  "Stop it, you know you like it." 

"I have a reputation, Angie."  Crowley said with a chuckle.  Angeline let him go and stood back a little. 

"I'm going to get some wine and you can tell me all about your trip."  Angeline smiled. 

"It was a boring librarian's conference."  Crowley tried to maintain a straight face. 

"Yes, and I'm Cleopatra.  You sit, we'll talk."  Angeline went to go get them a bottle of wine and two glasses.  They spent the afternoon sitting in the back and drinking.  It took two bottles of wine for Crowley to admit that he'd gone away for the week with James.  It had started out as just two friends getting away from everything but ended up with them being a bit more than just friends. 

"He really is wonderful."  Crowley said with a nod before finishing off the last of their second bottle. 

"Do you think it's going to be more than just sex?"  Angeline asked, sloshing the wine in her glass.  She was only a little bit drunker than Crowley. 

"I doubt it."  Crowley shook his head. 

"Why do you say that?"  Angeline was trying to remember that she was on a mission. 

"I slipped."  Crowley hiccoughed and opened another bottle of wine. 

"You slipped?"  Angeline chuckled. 

"That last night.  We were.....oh it was lovely.  Absolutely lovely.  The things he can do...."  Crowley's eyes went wide and he grinned.  "Very talented for someone with limited time to perfect the skill."  Crowley chuckled. 

"So what happened?"  Angeline was trying not to think about the wonderful things that James Heathersby could do to her as she listened to Crowley. 

"Kind of...got lost in the moment.  Let myself drift on the sea of pleasure."  Crowley took a very long drink of his wine.  "Wasn't really paying attention to what was coming out of my mouth." 

"You didn't....."  Angeline gasped, catching on very quickly.  Crowley nodded. 

"Called him Zira.  Oh that was a mood killer, let me tell you."  Crowley sighed heavily.  "Honestly, I'm not even sure that sex is an option anymore.  And I might have completely ruined out friendship.  At least for a little while." 

"I think he understands."  Angeline tried to reassure Crowley but she wasn't sure she believed what she was saying. 

"Only time will tell."  Crowley chuckled.  He sighed and sipped his wine. 

"Speaking of Zira...."  Angeline started as she refilled her glass. 

"Excellent seg....seg....um.....transition."  Crowley said with a chuckle. 

"Thank you."  Angeline giggled.  It took her a moment to get her thoughts gathered back together into some kind of actual order.  "I um....so.....would you....I mean....."  Angeline took a long drink of her wine and cleared her throat.  "What if you could have Aziraphale back?"  It finally came out.  And just like that, Crowley was no longer laughing and smiling.  He sat very still on the couch, his expression blank. 

"Why would you ask me that?"  He suddenly seemed considerably more sober than he did moments before. 

"Because I'd like to know.  If there was a way to get Aziraphale back, would you do it?"  Angeline tried to keep her eyes focused on Crowley but it was getting harder. 

"Don't ask me that."  Crowley got to his feet and started to clean up the area. 

"Why not?  It's a valid question.  Would you want him to be alive again if you could?"  Angeline asked once more.  She jumped when one of the empty wine bottles went flying across the room. 

"Do not ask me that."  Crowley almost growled.  "That's....completely unfair.  To put something like that in front of me." 

"Crowley...."  Angeline started.  Crowley snapped his fingers and they were both suddenly completely sober.  Angeline was not a fan of the feeling at all.  Her head was hurting a little bit. 

"Why would you ask me that?  Why?  When you know it's impossible?"  Crowley glared at Angeline.  "I thought you were my friend."  He turned and started to head toward the stairs. 

"It's not."  Angeline said as she got to her feet.  She wasn't surprised at all when Crowley stopped, but he didn't turn to look at her. 

"What do you mean?"  His hand was gripping the rail tightly.  Angeline took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

"Aziraphale has talked to Azreal.  There's a way that he can have a body back."  Angeline explained.  "A mostly immortal body." 

"Why are you telling me this?"  Crowley finally turned to look at her.  There was pain and anger swirling in his bright yellow eyes.  And the tiniest little bit of hope. 

"He wanted me to ask you if it was what you wanted.  Because Azrael said she would only do it if you wanted it too.  There's no point in Aziraphale having a body if you want him out of your life."  Angeline wrapped her arms around herself as she looked at Crowley.  She wanted to pull him into a hug and never let go. 

"It is actually possible?  This isn't some what if type of scenario?"  Crowley continued to grip the rail to keep his hand from shaking the way his voice was. 

"Yes."  Angeline nodded.  "It is completely possible.  As long as you agree." 

"I...."  Crowley stood there on the rail just staring at his friend.  What did he actually want?  Did he want Zira back?  Did he want a chance to move on? A million different questions were running through his mind and he was suddenly wishing that he was very drunk again.  "I have to think about it."  Crowley cleared his throat. 

"Oh."  Angeline's eyes went a little wide.  She hadn't been expecting that at all.  After a couple of moments, she nodded.  "Of course." 

"Is there a deadline?"  Crowley reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. 

"Not one that we're aware of."  Angeline responded.  Crowley nodded and turned to go back up the stairs. 

"I just....need to think about it."  He tried to keep his voice as steady as possible.  Angeline didn't say a word as he disappeared up the stairs.  She waited until Crowley was gone before she turned to look at the ghost on the other side of the room. 

"You get all that?"  Angeline asked a little angrily.  She'd hated being the one to cause her friend pain. 

"Yes, yes I did."  Aziraphale nodded.  "Thank you, Angeline." 

"Don't ever make me do that again."  Angeline's finger would have been poking the middle of his chest were her a solid person. 

"You have my word."  Aziraphale said.  Angeline let herself out of the library and Aziraphale stayed downstairs, just looking up at where Crowley was and wishing he could be there holding him.  Right now, though, he knew that Crowley just needed some time alone.