Military Man? Part 2

 Crowley did keep his appointment with Aziraphale the next day but he hadn't finished the list of tasks yet.  He wanted to think it over very carefully.  They had to be tasks that an angel would do without questioning it.  It was very easy for him to come up with menial evil tasks.  That was part of being a demon.  It was the angelic duties that were making him actually think.  Though every time he came up with a really good evil task he added it to a list that he fully intended to give to Legion to complete.  

It ended up taking him about a week to come up with a list of things that Aziraphale's entire platoon could do.  There were twenty four angels in Aziraphale's platoon and he wanted to come up with tasks for each and every one of them.  After he finally had the list completed to his liking he headed to the bookshop and placed the hand written list down on Aziraphale's desk.  

"You could work on your penmanship."  Aziraphale said, making a face as he looked at the list.

"You are literally the only person I actually write things out for.  I type all my paperwork."  Crowley replied before sticking his tongue out at Aziraphale.  This caused the angel to chuckle a bit.  Aziraphale put his glasses on before looking over the list.  

"This is...."  He looked at Crowley and then looked at the list again.  "Plant an acorn in a protected forest and monitor its growth.  Compile yearly progress reports to be submitted once every ten years?"  

"Is that.....I thought it was a good one."  Crowley scratched the back of his neck.  

"Oh, it's fantastic.  That one job alone will keep one of them occupied for centuries."  Aziraphale smiled.  Crowley relaxed almost visibly and smiled a little.  Aziraphale kept looking down the list and nodded.  "This will do nicely, yes."  He set the paper on his desk and looked up at Crowley.  

"I thought you would like it."  Crowley nodded.  

"Now I just have to get them actually assigned."  Aziraphale made a face again.  "I do so hate paperwork."  

"I know you do, angel.  How about I buy you lunch and then you can worry about the paperwork later?"  Crowley grinned.  Aziraphale did that adorable little wiggle that always came at the mention of food.  

"Sounds splendid."  Aziraphale grabbed his coat and they went to find a place to eat.  

The List 

1: Plant an acorn in a protected park and monitor its growth.  Compile yearly progress reports to be submitted once every ten years.  Reports should include growth rate, soil composition, and weather data as well as leaf consistency and color variants.  

2: Monitor fowl population in and around Central Park, New York City, USA.  The area should consist of no less than five city blocks in each direction from the park.

3: Find and monitor Loch Ness Monster.  Include data on eating habits, living area, and how the creature has managed to evade human notice.  

4: Monitor and record all squirrel variations throughout the world.  Include color, size, fur thickness, and location data.  

5: Monitor behavior of Canadian geese to determine why they're such twats.  (Aziraphale plans to edit this one just a bit.)  

6: Measure each mountain peak around the world to determine which one is actually the highest one.  Do not let humans know if it's not Everest.  

7: Locate and record all aquatic creature species below a depth of 4,500 meters.  Notate variations in color and size as well as species.  

8: Count and report on the number of words in every book in the Library of Congress.  Each individual book as well as a total sum of all the books.  

9: Find the lost manuscript of Babylonaica.  

10:  Pick a 25sqkm area of the Amazon rain forest and report on all vegetation in said area.  Separate by species, size, and color.  Report should include detailed map of the specific area studied.  

11:  Determine the exact number of white cars in existence.  Separate by make, model, type, and shade of white.  

12:  Locate and monitor the yeti.  Determine if there are multiple yeti, eating habits, sleeping habits, location of home and how it has evaded human notice.  

13: How many whales are there exactly?  

14:  Locate the lost manuscripts of Eudemas 

15:  Follow the flight path of an achene from a taraxacum and monitor growth if achene plants.  

16:  Determine why Gabriel is such a twat.  (Aziraphale intends to not use this one as Crowley only put it on the list to be facetious.)  

17:  Monitor and record all animal species in New Zealand. 

18: Report on the average number of hairs on a fox. 

19: Determine percentage of humans that don't know what an aglet is.  

20: Determine if a swallow can, in fact, carry a coconut.  (Crowley recently watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the fifty seventh time.)

21: Monitor and track Mendenhall Glacier.  Report on ice thickness, length of the glacier and movement rate.  Reports should be compiled yearly and submitted every ten years.  

22:  Compile a list of all known tongue twister phrases in every language throughout history.  

23: Determine number of leaves in Redwood National Forest 

24:  Determine number of lakes in the world.  Should be divided into categories based on size.  Nothing smaller than 15sqm is considered a lake.  

25:  Really want to know why Gabriel is such a twat.